How can communities with differing characteristics coexist? Last year, ten passionate young creators were matched to ten elderly people living with dementia characteristics, to participate in the “Visual Diary-Journals Monthly Exchange Project” – part of the second edition of “Co-Learning Squad” under Nan Fung Group’s “In Time Of” community initiative. Each of the ten pairs of participants became secret pen pals for half a year, exchanging diary-journals monthly in which they were free to write, stick and draw. This backs-and-forths of creation and anticipation yielded precious experiences and unique insights for us all.
Birdsong and Floral Fragrance Under the Sun
Ngan Wing (pen name: Sun) was one of the young creators involved in the project. She was still processing the loss of an elder relative when Sandy Chan, the project curator, invited her to participate. Having recognized the profound meaning behind the opportunity to connect with an elderly person, she agreed to take part.
Sun is a skilled writer, but knowing her elderly partner is living with dementia characteristics, she chose to use images (instead of words) to break the ice. She created a collage with cut-outs of beloved scenes from film booklets and magazines collected over the years. Contemplating a get-away at the time, she decided to also write her innermost thoughts. To her surprise, her elderly pen pal attached a memo paper on top of her writing: “Your wish shall be granted.” This unexpected gesture, from someone she had hardly expected anything from, delighted her immensely. “It felt like getting lucky when drawing a fortune stick!” Her elderly partner also sketched a scene of nature with the sun high in the sky, which echoes her own pen name. “I felt a certain connection with her, as if we were destined to be.” This sense of resonance, “is coexistence.”
By December, Sun decided to paint a Christmas tree as a festive gift for her pen pal. She meticulously rendered every detail of the tree, carefully filling the entire canvas. The considerable effort proved wholly worthwhile, because she later learned that Christmas was her partner’s favorite festivity, and that painting was his most cherished piece. “All that hard work really paid off.”
The “Visual Diary-Journals Monthly Exchange Project” lasted a total of six months. At the final gathering, the pair finally met. Imagining her pen pal to be quiet, reserved and elegant, Sun was surprised to find her incredibly warm and outgoing. They carefree chats revealed her elderly partner’s naturally sociable nature. This delightful contrast left a deep impression on her. “It was like meeting myself forty years from now!” One of the activities on the Meet-up Day involved co–creation, and Sun had prepared stickers of plants and animals for her to choose from, since images of nature, plants, and animals were featured a lot in their diary-journals. Her elderly partner picked some stickers to stick onto a page in their journal. In a flash of inspiration, she even wrote an inscription for the page, which Sun responded in words, to show their remarkable rapport.
Uncontrollable Variables
If Sun’s experience in exchanging diary-journal exemplifies “coexistence”, the experience of Jacky Lee Cheung Kwan (pen name: Kwan Jai) is the exact opposite, as he reflected inwardly through “non-coexistence”. This was not his first time participating in exchanging diary-journals*: his previous partner was a secondary school student who gave him plenty of lively, mischievous responses. Returning to the initiative, he admitted to some anticipation.
* The “Visual Diary-Journals Monthly Exchange Project” was originally initiated and curated by Sandy, implemented earlier across various platforms during Sandy’s previous employment.
For his first entry, Kwan Jai drew a large Chinese character “Kwan” (from his name), and added several strokes on top of it. “I was worried that the elderly lady might not understand the drawing, so I supplemented it with text. I was expecting a response.” Coinciding with the Mid-Autumn Festival, he drew an image of taro pastries, which he happened to have made his own. The lady replied with a sticky memo paper with flowers drawn on it, seemingly to show a shared fondness for the sweet. Kwan Jai would also take inspiration from his pen pal’s drawings in crafting his thoughtful responses: the elderly lady’s drawing of a sun was responded with carrots, with a similar shape and color; her drawing of a watermelon was responded by watermelons and pineapples. At one time, she sketched a house, and he chose to draw his own renovated ancestral home, complete with glutinous rice balls to evoke the warmth of family reunion.
While things went smoothly initially, the elderly participant ceased contributing new entries at some point, as her health deteriorated. Pages remained blank, and the communication was interrupted. “I felt perplexed, unsure how I could continue in this project.” Seeing how other young creators succeeded in discerning their partners’ personalities through the journal entries, made him more frustrated. “At that moment, the project’s purpose and meaning seemed lost. The disparity was huge.”
He gradually lost focus and was procrastinating in filling the diary-journal. Half a month flew by, and the deadline was fast approaching. After much deliberation, he decided to illustrate the scene of his first victory at the Jumpin Gym USA, when he won the blue prize in the rainbow coin-toss game. “I wanted to share one of my happier moments.” His creative drive returned gradually. Besides the illustration, he also re-created the rainbow coin-toss game, hoping his pen pal could experience the same joy through the diary-journal, anytime, anywhere. “I’ve got to adjust my mindset, and try to find moments in my life worth sharing, so that my elderly partner can have a glimpse of my daily life experience when she reads the diary-journal.”
Paying a Visit to “Cook Together”
Unfortunately, great anticipation led to deeper disappointment: Kwan Jai still could not greet his pen pal on the Meet-up Day. “I was filled with envy, seeing the other young guys meeting up their elderly pal, shaking hands and exchanging greetings.” This sense of loss lingered for quite some time. Sandy attempted to arrange a home visit, which eventually materialized. As they arrived at the elderly lady’s residence, Kwan Jai was much relieved to see her looking quite sprightly, moving around freely, and welcoming them warmly. “She was preparing fish soup with the help of her domestic helper, telling me what ingredients she had and where to buy the freshest ones.”
At last, they had not just read their diary-journal together, but even co-created – coincidentally – through “cooking”! Kwan Jai had brought drawings of various ingredients, like tomatoes, carrots, broccoli, prawns, courgettis and potatoes, that he had prepared with colour paper. Together with the lady, they tore the paper (chopping up the ingredients), mixed the pieces (cooking), and placed them in a small bowl (plating). Picking the field of cooking, which she was familiar with, was almost a telepathic move. “Co-creating this with her was a profoundly moving experience!”
Kwan Jai smiled wryly when it comes to discussing the topic of “coexistence”. At first, he thought it would be simple: just to get together and adapt to each other. Yet the disconnection, silence, and acceptance of uncontrollable variables, brought him complex emotions. “If I were my old self, I would have fled, or bottled it up. But this was a project that had to be completed. I became more aware of my own feelings, and learned to calm down. I became more willing to confront myself.” So there were both gains and losses. If he faces adversity again, he would seek opportunities to confide in others, or express himself through creative outlets.
Living Like Their True Selves
The ten elderly participants were referred into this project by the Mind Delight Memory & Cognitive Training Centre (Mind Delight in short), our collaborative partner. Their manager, Ng Ming-wai (nick name: Ah Ming), wishes to raise public awareness about dementia and explore ways in which senior people suffering from it can live their lives. To achieve these, he has organised a series of activities such as “Mind Delight Online Store” and “Let’s Enjoy the Ride”. He believes that these people have been stripped of their ability to have interests and live a normal life: “the sense of participation is of utmost importance to them, if we want them to reclaim their lives, to live like their true selves.”
When Sandy proposed the “Visual Diary-Journals Monthly Exchange Project” to Ah Ming, he was immediately drawn by its nature and goals: to promote co-learning and coexistence through co-creation by two communities with different characteristics. A sense of closeness developed through their shared goals and views, and their collaboration soon started. “We have been running handicraft classes, but these are relatively routine activities, such as colouring. I felt there should be more possibilities for them.”
Ah Ming noticed how the project connected the elderly participants with the outside world, and gave them a noticeable boost in confidence. “They smiled more,” he said. He was also surprised to see some of the more reserved individuals able to physically express themselves more. Witnessing their rediscovery of life’s joys and the recognition of their abilities by others, reinforced his objectives: to approach matters from the perspectives of the elderly, and to consider how they wish to live. He observed how his colleagues found a purpose in their work. “They feel that the work is worthwhile, because they’ve seen reactions from the elderly. This gives the team strong unity.” It was never about ticking off task items, but understanding the reasons behind those tasks. “If we were always thinking about the limitations, we wouldn’t have done much.”
The “Visual Diary-Journals Monthly Exchange Project” has opened a door for all participants. As the learnings that they have gained from the project are applicable to other activities, precious seeds have been planted for the future.
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